Puddle Pirate Semper Gumby Duck Shirt

My old man, bless his ass, always had a soft spot for goofy stuff. He’d find humor in the silliest things, and it was infectious. I remember one Christmas, he unwrapped a shirt with some ridiculously long name, something about a “Puddle Pirate,” and it showed a rubber duck wearing an eye patch and a pirate hat – the whole shebang. The “Semper Gumby” part totally threw me at first. I didn’t get the connection. Now, I understand it.

He wore that shirt everywhere, which was a little embarrassing when I was a teenager, especially when we went grocery shopping, but it was just so him. The fabric felt a little rough, like it had been through the wash a million times, and the duck graphic was already cracking a bit in the corner. He’d pair it with his usual beat-up jeans and those well-worn sneakers he refused to part with, no matter how many holes they acquired. I guess it was a symbol of never giving up, like the Gumbys of the world.

He’d get compliments sometimes, mostly from kids or other older folks who also understood the appeal of the absurd. I recall one time at the park; a little girl, maybe five years old, pointed at his shirt and exclaimed, “Look, a duck pirate! Does he steal puddles?” He got a huge kick out of it. We spent a good ten minutes chatting with her and her parents, who were clearly amused by his attire. That shirt became a conversation starter, a way to connect with people, and a reminder to not take life too seriously, which is something I definitely needed lessons in. Over the years, that Puddle Pirate Semper Gumby Duck Shirt faded and shrunk, but he kept wearing it, the graphic becoming even more faded. It was like a testament to his resilience, his stubborn refusal to conform to any kind of boring, conventional expectations.